Some days it’s all I can do to keep my children fed, dressed and myself sane. I don’t know if it’s school holidays, if everyone else just hides it better (especially in public) or if my kids have a special gift, but gosh they can be a handful sometimes! It’s on days like this when I start wondering if I’m a bad Mum?
You see, while I know in theory everyone has their parenting cross to bare, but yesterday it took everything I had not to let my head explode in a fury of exasperation and utter irritation, as my two eldest kids bickered, poked and then played LOUD hide and seek in a tiny crowded store, after being asked not to so many times.
Even when my kids are looking cute and tranquil they are still being slightly off (where’s H’s hand? Scratching his bottom- classy)
My problem is that I lose my temper way too fast (asking for something nicely 10 times is my limit before I yell). I know it’s a fault of mine that I need to work on, along side not raising my voice, not ever smacking, and just being a smiling beacon of perfection. While I’m listing my parenting faults I also hate it when my kids rub their faces on my clothes and I definitely don’t give them enough undivided one on one time, I feed them too much processed food and I don’t do enough home based learning.
So I guess I should be asking- what makes a bad Mum, and am I one? Maybe I need a bit of reassurance that I am doing ok, because I really don’t want to be a bad parent. I love my kids, and I wish that was enough, but many days it feels like it’s not.
Some people would say a bad mum is one that doesn’t love her child, or who doesn’t do what is best for them, doesn’t take care of their basic needs- but I feel like there is an expectation these days of so much more than that.
A perfect Mum (in my eyes), has children that are well behaved, tidy and polite. She will feed them perfectly healthy food, with only rare treats (that are really expensive health foods, and are actually still good for them). A perfect Mum gives up any of her own time for her children- they do an hour of home reading and fun play based learning, and are constantly doing fun and educational crafts and activities. A perfect Mum doesn’t look or feel like she is going to scream if she doesn’t have a break, she would never feed her children porridge for dinner, and always makes sure her children floss and brush their teeth three times a day.
I don’t do enough (or in some cases any) of this- my son had to have a filling the other day because if he flosses once a week without screaming and crying it’s a win, and I found my baby eating a 2 day old hot cross bun that had been left in the cubby house (and after taking it away I wondered if I should still bother to make his morning tea) #badmum
So tell me- do you have a parenting secret? Am I alone in wondering if I’m doing enough, or the right thing?